Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Dog & Cat Diaries
(Author Unknown)
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
I Keep Finding Pieces
... of former lives here.
Today it's:
Bags of dried dog-poo, left hidden on the hot tub cover.
(No wonder I thought the dogs had messed on the back porch back when the kids lived here. Sorry Snickers & Doodles... wasn't your fault.)
Box of maxi-pads under the bed in the front bedroom.
( Those kids didn't do the least bit of due-diligence when packing.
Wonder what I can adapt those to be used as/for?)
More half used bottles of water, under bed, on porch, in Toy Hauler.
( This is a continuing mystery. WHY so many stashed around?)
An itinerary on hotel letterhead.
( Another former visitor, who was oh-so busy with many things AND people... Much more "busy" than I knew at the time.)
Bricka bracka set out in other homes and earlier versions of this livingroom.
(Some fond memories & pics coming back to be displayed. They'd been lovingly wrapped by several former GF's. Thanks for that!)
There's more, but I just get more and more maudlin...
Anyway, to those who've passed my way in happy & sad times/circumstances:
Today it's:
Bags of dried dog-poo, left hidden on the hot tub cover.
(No wonder I thought the dogs had messed on the back porch back when the kids lived here. Sorry Snickers & Doodles... wasn't your fault.)
Box of maxi-pads under the bed in the front bedroom.
( Those kids didn't do the least bit of due-diligence when packing.
Wonder what I can adapt those to be used as/for?)
More half used bottles of water, under bed, on porch, in Toy Hauler.
( This is a continuing mystery. WHY so many stashed around?)
An itinerary on hotel letterhead.
( Another former visitor, who was oh-so busy with many things AND people... Much more "busy" than I knew at the time.)
Bricka bracka set out in other homes and earlier versions of this livingroom.
(Some fond memories & pics coming back to be displayed. They'd been lovingly wrapped by several former GF's. Thanks for that!)
There's more, but I just get more and more maudlin...
Anyway, to those who've passed my way in happy & sad times/circumstances:
Friday, April 18, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
But what if you want to click "No to All?" There's no button for you, but that doesn't mean Windows won't let you skip all the duplicate files. All you have to do is hold down the Shift key and click No. Now Windows will skip all files with duplicate names and copy the rest of your files to the new directory, thus saving you a lot of time, heartache, and repetitive finger motions.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
April 08 Oddities♦
Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The Sensitive Man
The Sensitive Man
A woman meets a man in a bar
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is
completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf,
medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, She is quite impressed by his sensitive side. but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'
A woman meets a man in a bar
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is
completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf,
medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, She is quite impressed by his sensitive side. but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'
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